The Code of Discipleship

Dear friends,

Last Sunday, we reflected on the Gospel in which Jesus asked His disciples, “Who do you say that I am?” Peter gave the answer that would change everything: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Jesus praised Peter for this confession and entrusted him with the keys of the Kingdom of heaven. Peter had got it right. He had recognized the true identity of Jesus.

But today’s Gospel shows us that knowing who Jesus is does not necessarily mean that we understand what it means to follow Him. Jesus, knowing that His identity had now been revealed to His disciples, began to open up to them about His mission. He told them what lay ahead: He would go to Jerusalem, suffer greatly, be killed, and on the third day be raised. In other words, Jesus was revealing His roadmap. But Peter could not accept it. He had just confessed Jesus as the Messiah, but the Messiah he had in mind was not a Messiah who would suffer and die. For Peter, suffering and death seemed completely incompatible with being the Christ. So he took Jesus aside and began to reject what he had just told them: “God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.” Peter’s intention may have been understandable. He loved Jesus and did not want to see Him suffer. But Jesus strongly rejected Peter’s way of thinking: “Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.” Peter may have taken the bold step to speak out, but he may not be the only one with such a mindset among the apostles.

Jesus then takes the opportunity to explain what it means to be His disciple: “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” In a sense, Jesus was giving His disciples a code of discipleship. The disciples had first needed to know who Jesus was. Now they needed to know what it means to follow Him. This is where the thought of the great theologian Hans Urs von Balthasar can help us. Balthasar speaks about what he called the theodrama and the egodrama. Put simply, the egodrama is the story we write around ourselves: our plans, our expectations, our ambitions, and our idea of how life should unfold. The theodrama, on the other hand, is God’s drama, the story of God’s action and purpose into which we are invited to enter.

Peter was caught between these two dramas. He had recognized Jesus, but he still wanted Jesus to fit into ‘Peter’s drama’. He wanted the Messiah, but not this kind of Messiah. He wanted the glory, but not the cross. He wanted the destination, but he could not accept the road Jesus had chosen. And perhaps this is not only Peter’s problem, but also that of some other apostles. It can also be ours. Sometimes we believe in Jesus, but we still want Him to fit into our own script. We say we trust God, but we have already decided how God should answer our prayers. We want Him to bless our plans, but we are not always ready to ask whether our plans correspond to His will. We want success, but without the sacrifice. We want resurrection, but without Good Friday. So, we can easily turn Christianity into an egodrama: my plans, my desires, my comfort, my success, my future, and God somewhere in the middle of it all.

But discipleship calls us into theodrama. It means moving from asking, “How can God fit into my plans?” to asking, “How can I fit into God’s plan?” I think this is why Jesus says: “Whoever wishes to come after me…” The words are important: “come after me.” A disciple does not walk in front of Jesus, asking Jesus to follow his direction. A disciple walks behind Jesus. It reminds us of that simple prayer of submission, “Lord, walk before me to lead me. Walk behind me to encourage me. Walk beside me to guide me….” This gives a deeper meaning to Jesus’ words to Peter: “Get behind me.” Peter had momentarily tried to stand in front of Jesus and determine the kind of Messiah He should be. Jesus reminds him that his place is behind Him, as a disciple who follows.

And this is the challenge of Christian discipleship today. To follow Christ does not simply mean to admire Him, believe certain things about Him, have miracles, not have any problems, or come to Church. It means being willing to allow Him to determine the direction of our lives. It means that sometimes God’s roadmap will be different from ours. There may be moments when following Christ requires us to forgive when we would rather hold on to resentment; to tell the truth when a lie would be more convenient; to remain faithful when walking away seems easier; to sacrifice when we would rather choose comfort; to serve when we would rather be served. This is the cross he asked us to be ready to take along the journey in following him. The cross takes different forms in different lives. But the principle remains the same: discipleship requires us to surrender the desire to make ourselves the centre of the story. This does not mean that our lives, dreams and desires do not matter to God. Rather, it means allowing God to transform them and give them their proper direction. Pope Benedict XVI expressed a similar idea when he said, “Do not be afraid of Christ! He takes nothing away, and he gives you everything.”

Dear Friends. The Christian life is therefore not simply about asking, “What do I want from life?” It is also about asking: “What does God want from my life?” Peter had to learn this lesson. He had confessed Jesus’ identity correctly, but he still had to learn what discipleship means. And perhaps we are also still learning. As with any new learning, we may get confused; we need to stay focused on the course. The code of discipleship is simple, but it is demanding: deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Christ. It is the movement from ego to God,from my drama to God’s drama, from writing my own script to allowing myself to become part of God’s story. May we have the humility and courage to say: “Lord, I may not always understand your roadmap, but I trust you enough to follow it.” This is because a disciple is not the one who has everything figured out. A disciple is the one who knows who Jesus is, trusts His way, and is willing to follow Him. Happy Sunday